Game Changer: Converting a halter bikini to a crossback for surfing and sports

As most of you know by now, I’m a pretty active lady. As some of you who know me in person or who have witnessed the #BigBoobProblems conversations on Twitter also know, I have a fairly large chest. Both of these facts are awesome. Together, notsomuch. Take for example the search for an action sports bikini. Most are halters; I want a crossback because halters hurt my neck after a while, and chafe when wearing a wetsuit. Most are also meant for tiny girls because, let’s face it, most surfer girls are tiny.

I maintain that surfer girls are generally bitty because there aren’t enough bikini options for more substantial girls, and nobody wants to add a nip slip on top of the inherent embarrassment of wiping out. A bikini shift is bad enough when you have a small chest; it’s mortifying when boobs just go flying everywhere. If bigger girls felt more secure, I bet more of them would get out on a board. But I digress. 

When I surf currently, I wear a sports bra under a wetsuit/jacket and change on the beach if I’m going to be hanging out. In Hawaii, the water is 20 degrees warmer so I just wear the sports bra and a ‘kini bottom, but then I either have to change at every surf spot (or if I want to play volleyball or go snorkeling or just play in the water), or I’m running around the island all day in a wet sports bra. It’s not ideal, definitely not cute, and OMG the tan lines. I have been looking for a cute, comfortable, supportive, not-too-skimpy-but-not-too-matronly crossback, racerback, etc. bikini top for months now. (Really, years.) Today, while scanning the internet for tops AGAIN, the thought suddenly occurred to me:

Aren’t crossbacks just halter bikinis with loops on the back strap?  

Yes. Yes they are. 

OMG GAME CHANGER.

I immediately ran to my swimsuit box and pulled out every string and halter top with a tie neck. Now, I’ve done the trick where you just cross the neck ties and tie them to the back tie, but that wasn’t secure enough. I was on a mission to build a better mousetrap/bikini top. This is what I came up with:

1. Start with a bikini with fixed cups and moderate coverage. Neck ties should fall 4-6 inches below the back tie when crossed. Avoid using a bikini that is already too tight in the band, as the band size will decrease when you tie knots in it.

2. Tie a self-knot (overhand knot for you Boy Scouts, sailors and climbers) in each back strap or tie. For a strap, tie the knots near the clasps. For ties, tie the knots a few inches short of where you’d normally tie the back together. Do not tighten the knots yet.

3. Cross the neck ties at the mid back. (For a variation on this, if your ties are long enough, twist the ties together a few times. Roxy and Hurley call this a “T-back”.) Pull each neck tie through the opposite knot. Straighten the ties out so everything is neat.

4. NOW tighten the knots. A lot. Pull the neck ties so they’re even, with 4-6 inches left hanging.

5. If you have a clasp back, close it first, then tie the neck ties in a pretty bow over it. If you have a tie back, tie the neck ties first, then the back ties. Admire your handiwork. Now untie and unclasp so you can put the dang thing on. DO NOT pull the straps back through the knots.

6. Slip this bad boy over your head, putting your arms through the straps, being careful not to pull your new ties through the knots. Repeat step 5. Tighten and adjust (ties and cups) as needed.

 

7. Go surf! Or play volleyball or chase after your kids or whatever. Feel secure in your top’s coverage. Pulling the neck ties through the knots allows you to distribute the weight of your chest across both the shoulders and the back. My favorite thing about this method is that I can pull it really tight and secure without putting pressure on my neck. Plus, the back is double-tied. That thing isn’t going anywhere. 

And now I can leave my sports bras where they belong while I’m on vacation: at home with the rest of my gym clothes. 

The joys of joining a case in progress

Look, a law post! Apologies in advance, it’s a long one.

I signed a new PI client last week. Yay me! Her case is good, her injuries well-documented, and her medical bills large. It’s a pretty good catch for me.

The only catch in this catch is that the case is already in litigation. OK it’s more than that: it’s in litigation, she has a prior attorney, and both of them neglected the case to the point that it’s at risk of dismissal because the defendant has filed a motion for terminating sanctions.

For the uninitiated, that means dismissal as punishment for failing to prosecute your own lawsuit.

The substance of defendant’s entire motion is that my client has failed to respond to discovery. That was propounded in May. And which my client was ordered to respond to after a defense motion to compel in November (she also hasn’t paid the $700+ sanctions imposed, but that’s another story). Oops. However, DURING THIS WHOLE TIME SHE WAS REPRESENTED BY COUNSEL. Sure, she moved in July and forgot to give her attorney her new contact info for months, never called for a case status and didn’t respond to the discovery because she didn’t know it was required; but the attorney started sending her letters back in August saying he was dropping her case for non-contact, and then didn’t actually withdraw until late January. In the meantime, the attorney was getting meet & confer letters and was served with the motion to compel, neither of which he answered. The client had no idea this was happening until January.

She did the right thing by hiring a new attorney. She interviewed 3 attorneys before choosing me, because she felt I’d keep her in the loop (and I do. Constantly. I’ve called or emailed her at least 20 times since her first phone call to me). Our immediate plan? File my (late) opposition to the motion, get her complete discovery responses over to opposing counsel in time to review before the hearing, and ask him to remove it from calendar so we can move on to the merits of this case.

His response?

“Well, do whatever you think is right, but it doesn’t change anything.”

Doesn’t it though? Isn’t this WHOLE THING about discovery? What has changed in the 3 weeks since he filed the motion? And who clings to a request for dismissal over the first set of form interrogatories WHEN THE ANSWERS ARE ALREADY IN YOUR FILE? Asshole.

I’m also for winning a case on procedure, but that kind of uncooperative bullshit does not lead to me being a cooperative and pleasant opposing counsel. The Bitch is out. The dragon has been released. Bring it on.

4 Week Pre-Race Plan

According to my research, part of training for multiple back-to-back races is establishing a proper training plan for each cycle.

I didn’t really get that (or understand that sentence — what’s a training cycle?) until a few weeks ago. Apparently, you’re not just supposed to run AS FAST AS YOU CAN for 13 miles and then start over with regular training the following week. Nor are you supposed to wake up and decide you’ll run 8 miles today even though you ran sprints yesterday. I guess you’re supposed to rest? Also, you’re supposed to set your next goal time not by picking a random number, but by tailoring workouts based on last PR. That’s just crazy, SCIENCE.

But in the interest of not hurting myself, I’m willing to do it. My next race is on March 10. The first thing that’s new to me is actual rest. Previously, I’d race Sunday, get a massage on Monday, and start up again on Wednesday. This time, I listened to my distance mentor/coach and did absolutely zero running last week.

Sidebar: In fact I did so little exercise last week that I am now dangerously close to falling into old overweight-Snarky patterns: one 30-minute stationary bike workout for the week means I can have cake! For days after! And eat homemade frosting from the jar every night! GIVE ME ALL THE CAKE OM NOM NOM!! <Cough cough> Sorry. Whew! I’m glad to be back on track. Overweight-Snarky is a scary lady.

Anyway, the next step is planning a training cycle. I guess when you race multiple races you have to train differently for each one, based on current performance levels and goals. Again, with all the science, science. I averaged 10:10 pace in my last half, and 9 even pace in my last 10k. Both races were flat and the next one has a monster 3/4 mile hill. Based on that info, my goal for the San Diego half on March 10 is a 2:10-2:15 finish. Here’s the training plan:

Week Of	M	T	W	Th	F	Sa	Su
2/4-10	REST	strength + XT	Tempo – 4 mi + strength	XT	Intervals – 800/400 x 6	Yoga	10 miles
2/11-17	REST	strength + XT	Tempo – 4-6 mi	XT	Hill Repeats	Yoga	12 miles
2/24-3/3	REST	strength + XT	Tempo – 6 mi hilly	XT or strength	Intervals – 800/400 x 6	Yoga	7-8 miles
3/4-10	REST	strength + XT	Race Pace: 3-4 mi	easy str	XT	Yoga	RACE!

Looks fun, right? I think so. 4 weeks isn’t a lot of time but I’m excited to push myself. Strength + tempo run on the same day isn’t ideal, but my AM personal training sessions and my PM run club are both on Wednesday this weeks, so I’m stuck for now.

OK more experienced runners, coaches, trainers, etc., what do you think? Am I risking overtraining? Or am I on the …(wait for it)…

RIGHT TRACK?

13 in 2013

I don’t know how or why, but at some point in the haze around Christmas and New Year’s Day, I decided to run 13 races in 2013. I blame my friend Wendy, who did 12 in 2012, and also probably the 5 lbs I put on over the holidays. Maybe it happened during a fever-induced hallucination while I was sick. Who knows? But I’m doing it.

Here’s my list so far. Races in bold are paid for, races in italic are completed:

Carlsbad Half Marathon (1/27) - new PR! Official time: 2:13:12
Electric Run 5k (2/2)
San Diego Half Marathon (3/10)
*Nike Women’s Marathon Virtual 10k (3/10)
Hot Chocolate 15k (3/24)
Carlsbad 5000 (4/7)
La Jolla Half Marathon (4/28)
Ragnar Northwest Passage (7/19-20)
America’s Finest City Half Marathon (8/18)
Nike Women’s Half Marathon TBA (Oct)
Komen Race for the Cure 5k (11/3)
Vegas RNR half (11/17)

*This one doesn’t count. It’s a “virtual” 10k, which means I just have to log in to Nike+ and track my run. This will happen while I’m running the half marathon. The only point is to try to score an entry to the NWM in October.

Two things I learned when planning my schedule: (1) San Diego race organizers are really, really good about spreading out big races in county by at least 6 weeks; (2) Half marathons are flippin’ expensive. Like WOAH.

As you can see, the list is ambitious and maybe a tiny bit crazy for someone who just recently started running (The San Diego Half Marathon marks the anniversary of my first half marathon). As you can also see, I’m short 2 races. Somewhere in those hot summer months I’m going to have to pepper in a couple 5k or 10k races. I’m also kicking around the idea of doing Chicago. We’ll just have to see.

Is anyone else doing a 13 in 2013 challenge? Did anyone else order a nerdy custom jersey like I did? Does anyone want to come visit San Diego and run a race with me?

Christmas Running Fun!

I apologize in advance. I’m still on a runner’s high I think. I swear the law posts will come back after Christmas.

Now then.

I saw this “Christmas Running Survey” over on Fit For A Year (I like this blog, basically cataloging one man’s journey into a year/lifetime of running and fitness), via The Hungry Runner Girl:

1. Favorite Christmas Album/CD/Song? Classic: the Christmas Song by Nat King Cole; Modern: Christmas Wrapping by the Waitresses (edited to correct song name. Embarrassing!)
2. Run on Christmas morning or take the day off? No run. We are sort of developing a walking tradition though (see #4).
3. What do you usually eat on Christmas morning?  “Christmas Bake:” potatoes, sausage, bacon, tomatoes, zucchini, garlic & onion, with poached or baked sunny-up eggs on top for PC’s half (I hate eggs).
4. Favorite holiday or Christmas tradition? Our cookie party! For the last few years, we have friends over to drink hot buttered rum and mulled wine, eat, and bake cookies. Everyone brings their favorite recipe, batter, or already-baked cookies, and at the end of the night, we fill cookie tins with all the different cookies. As we get older, it’s become less a drunken baking mess and more a of family event with our friends and their kids and parents. This year we’ve added board games and goodie bags for the kids.
   Second Favorite: sometimes our parents can’t take time off around Christmas itself, so both sets of parents will come down 2 weeks before Christmas and we’ll have “fake Christmas,” complete with Christmas morning breakfast, gifts, and Christmas dinner.
   Third Favorite: We usually have astonishingly great San Diego Winter weather on Christmas day — 75 degrees and sunny — and will take a break from eating on Christmas day to go on a ~2 mi beach walk, followed by bloody Marys at our favorite beachfront bar. It’s not a bad tradition.
5. Real tree, fake tree or no tree? Real! It’s a mess, it’s not environmentally friendly, and it’s expensive, but I love it.
6. Christmas pajamas, yay or nay? Yoga pants. Because I like to keep it classy when I’m being lazy.
7. Where do you spend the holidays, at home, with your parents, extended family, in-laws or friends? At our house. Sometimes our parents come down, sometimes we go to a friend’s house for dinner. This year, we’re considering a movie marathon at the luxury movie theater followed by a nice dinner out.
8. What’s your favorite Christmas food? There are so many foods I only allow myself to eat around Christmas, but my favorites are blue cheese mashed potatoes with port wine caramelized onions (you need a subscription to Cooks Illustrated to access. Sorry!), and chocolate ginger cookies.
9. Open presents all at once or take turns? Husband and I take turns. I think we’re usually more excited see each other’s reactions than to open our own presents.
10. Favorite Christmas movie? The kid movies: claymation Rudolph, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Charlie Brown Christmas. I’m trying to watch more classics though. I only saw Miracle on 34th Street last year. I think we’re watching Holiday Inn this year (once I get through back episodes of Homeland).

So that’s it for me. This year I’ve really noticed that traditions are becoming more important to me than parties and gifts. What are some of your favorite traditions? Are you more inclined to spend the day with ALL THE RELATIVES or do you keep things small with just your nuclear family? Finally, is it weird that I’m super excited to go out for Christmas dinner, and not have to shop, clean and cook all day?

The Post-Race Blues

Post-Race Blues: I has them.

I think all runners get them (OMG I just legit included myself in a reference to “runners”). Maybe you did really well and PR’ed, maybe the run wasn’t so great, maybe you undertrained or maybe the training kicked your butt, but no matter how much we just want it to be over on Day Zero, the days and weeks following the race can be downright depressing.

Watching TV from the couch and not foam rolling is kind of…. boring. Not spending 1-2 hours on the road leaves too much empty time. Going back to mostly gym workouts requires thinking about what you’re doing as you do it (having to think is annoying). Also, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH ALL THIS GU??

The answer, of course, is to sign up for another race. In my case, 3 races. Immediately.

Back in October, I registered for the Hot Buttered Run 10k taking place this Sunday 12/16 specifically to stave off the “what the hell do I do now?” blues. Also, just for funsies, I decided this week join the Crohn’s & Colitis Foundation Team Challenge team for Hot Buttered Run, because I’m not too tired of fundraising yet and the $250 minimum seems like no big deal after raising $3,200 in 12 weeks. I’m sure my friends and family aren’t sick of me asking for donations yet, right? (Seriously though I’m a little nervous about the fundraising. Please consider donating HERE.) I thought that 10k would be enough, but clearly it wasn’t.

Vegas was last Sunday, December 2. By Thursday 12/6, I had registered for the Carlsbad half on Jan 27 and San Diego half on March 10. That’s three half marathons in 14 weeks. It brings my 5 month total to nine races in 5 months: 4 half marathons, a 15k, a 10k, and 3 5ks. On top of that I’m still seriously considering La Jolla in April and America’s Finest City or San Diego Rock N Roll over the summer. WHAT IS GOING ON WHO IS THIS PERSON.

To recap: I’m clearly past my post-race blues, but I might actually be crazy for registering for so many races. But whatever. Racing is more fun than training and all these races have cool medals. Bring on the bling!!

How to Accidentally Become a Runner.

Are Runners born or made?

I have never, ever considered myself a runner. As a chubby kid, my dad used to “suggest” that I ride my bike with him down to the middle school track and run with him. I hated it with a passion, but saying no was not an option. In order to avoid any additional running, I would forge PE excuse notes in middle school on run days. Even in high school (after I leaned out a little), I would still cut PE on run days. In college I worked for a running store and tried my hand at trail running, but I couldn’t get past the 2.5 mile mark. NOR DID I WANT TO. I swam, biked and hit the gym, and that was good enough for me.

But 16 months ago, some a-holes on Twitter started talking about Couch to 5k and I just had to jump on the bandwagon (This lady, and this one, I think this one, and sometimes this guy. Also, FoTricksy). 3 months later I ran my first 5k. It was the farthest I’d ever run at one time, without stopping. I finished in 33:32 and, while I thought I was going to die, the woman I paced with who was pushing her kids’ double stroller and sipping a Starbucks seemed unfazed. After that race I decided to cross the new entry of “half marathon” off my bucket list and finished with a decent time, but even then, I still wasn’t sure running was for me. However, immediately after that half I had to take nearly 6 months off from running due to injury, and I missed it. Kind of a lot. On my first run back in August, I knocked out 4.5 miles easy and something clicked. Running was kinda… fun. In a twisted “Oh my God it burns please make it stop” but with an endorphin rush after kind of way.

So I kept running. I signed up for Vegas Rock N Roll. Got into Nike at the last minute and finished under 3 hours even with injury. Ran two 5k “fun runs” around 30 min on a consecutive Saturday and Sunday. Did Vegas in 2:30 and found it too slow. Best of all I enjoyed ALL of those races. This week, I dropped a full minute off my 2 mile from my last time trial just 10 days prior, and it hit me: I’m a Runner.

That’s right, with a capital R.

It’s not FUN fun, and it hurts sometimes, but totally I get it now. If you are one of those people who swear running is just not for you, I encourage you to push yourself. Have faith in your strength. Running isn’t for everyone, but I have a feeling it is for more of us than we think.

PS: I’m still fundraising for the Crohn’s & Colitis Foundation of America. Care to donate?